DALLAS — It started as an attempt by Oak Cliff parents to instill positivity and courage in their three children as they headed off to school every day. Today it's an extraordinary message they continue to share in memory of the one child that is no longer with them.
"It just got to be a tradition or a ritual every morning," Brent Bolding said of the phrase he came up with one school day morning as he dropped his three kids off at school.
"That you would yell," his wife Chris said.
He would shout to his kids, within earshot of their classmates, that it's 'OK To Be Extraordinary.'
"It's OK to be yourself. Stand up for other people," Chris Bolding said.
"Insulation against peer pressure, a bump on the way out," Brent Bolding said.
"We used to say you're extraordinary in little ways every day," Chris added. "It's just be a good person. Be kind."
And they say the entire family was kind, and accepting, when their 17-year-old announced in 2021, telling her parents she was transgender.
"It's a beautiful story, actually, how she chose Eleanor," Chris Bolding said of the name of one of her grandmothers. "He actually said, remember mom when you told me if I was born a girl? I said yeah, Eleanor. He said that's what I want to be called."
"It was incredibly hard for us to understand and wrap our heads around," Eleanor's mom said. "But I feel like we immediately said we're going to be on this journey with you and we don't know what this means or we don't understand it. But we're here and we'll figure it out."
"Your first reaction is let's make sure you're safe," Brent Bolding said, fearing that the acceptance the family offered Eleanor might not be what she would find in the outside world. But the Boldings say friends, classmates, and family were mostly supportive.
"They were all very accepting. They said that's what she's doing. Then, we're with you." Eleanor's dad said.
But despite that acceptance by family and friends, five months later Eleanor died by suicide.
"To say it was shocking, there were no real signs. And that's been the hardest part, is getting over the initial shock," Chris Bolding said.
"Yeah. We thought we were beating the percentages," Brent Bolding said in reference to higher suicide rates among LGBTQ+ youth.
"Even though Eleanor is not here," Eleanor's mom said, "the fact that we went on that journey with her is the thing that saves me every day."
Because they are actively trying to save others, in Eleanor's name.
On April 14 they will hold the 3rd annual OK2BX Film Festival at the Texas Theatre in Oak Cliff. Students and aspiring filmmakers with stories of acceptance and inclusivity: short films created by extraordinary high school filmmakers from across the country. It is part of the Bolding's OK2BX Foundation dedicated to supporting youth in memory of their daughter.
"Everything that we do in honor of Eleanor through the foundation, I feel like she'd be super proud of it," Chris Bolding said.
"You know you're doing something good, that something worthwhile came out of this horrible, horrible thing that happened there," Brent Bolding said of Eleanor's death.
The Boldings say that Eleanor did leave behind a note, writing that she was worried about what her life would become. With their foundation and their film festival, the Boldings want other youth to know that they can be extraordinary and that an extraordinary world belongs to them too.
"What she couldn't bring to the world we will bring for her," Chris Bolding said.
Information on tickets to the OK2BX Film Festival can be found here.